There is nothing more horrifically painful emotionally than that of feeling alone. It is a curious thing, to feel that way, for in truth you are not by your lonesome in space. There are other human beings on our planet with hearts that beat and lungs that fill up with air. They are just living their lives in this time period known as existence; however, the feeling of being alone is also in existence, drifting around like a balloon caught in a wind current. Some people tend to feel lonely because they are sucked into a deep, dark, abyss-like pit of fear that no one understands them- that no wants to be their friend. In truth, there is someone out there that will gladly accept you, but it is up to you to try to find that person, that friend. Yes, that means that you may have to use the big "C" word, "courage". It is awfully scary, but just imagine the jubilation that will fill up your entire body after you show the world how powerful and how brave you are.
Some people feel so alone that they feel as if they need a romantic partner at their hip. They build on top of the nonexistent perception they have of perfection. Perhaps, you are one of those people. Maybe you believe that in order to fill your deep, dark, abyss-like pit of unhappiness, you must have a relationship with someone...anyone. Some people replace their emptiness with someone they do not necessarily find attractive or have no similarities with just to have, say, a date to the eighth grade formal. Either way, their loneliness may escape their minds completely when they have that one person or it might stick around, hanging over their heads like a smoky gray rain cloud.
On the other hand, there is one more thing I must discuss: loneliness may be based on point of view. Sometimes, the peace and quiet of solitude is pleasant but there are people who are critical of that. It is like in the song "Stronger" by Kelly Clarkson in which the line is "Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone". Many chose to view people who like to spend a lot of time alone, such as a few introverts, as people who are lonely, when it fact, they are not. Perhaps, this is the way you feel. Maybe it is not loneliness that you are experiencing but the need to express your confusing emotions as "loneliness" for fear that others may not think highly of you for wanting to spend a day with yourself. "Loneliness" may be the one word answer that you have to force to choke up in order to feel somewhat respected.
Though many chose to deny it, everyone feels lonely at one point in their life. There was once a time when I felt lonely even though I had a group of friends. I would feel as if no one could understand any thing I said, even though I spoke the same language they did. Sometimes, I would feel so lost even though I was being metaphorically handed a map. In truth, the pain of loneliness is shared by everyone whether they are young or gray, shy or outspoken, short or tall enough to be basketball player. In conclusion, I and more people than you can possibly imagine, understand. Don't worry, sweetheart, when it comes to the almost incomprehensible frustration of a feeling that reaches all corners of the universe, you are not alone. :)
With the greatest sincerity,
Sarah
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What I am currently reading: Nothing, but I am working on "The Understudy: Chapter 2" tomorrow.
In other news: I went to my 8th grade formal last night and *sigh* there were some great moments .
Think about it: "When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings." ~Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love. My second blog: Strawberry Lemonade
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